right here, right now, i wish i was invisible. i'm tired of wearing my mask. why do i do this to myself. alone in my room i cry and become drowned in thought. why is it so hard to be happy, even though i have friends, are you really my friend? i wish i could ask them, but what would happen then? would we still be friends? would be the same? i laugh when people say that i'm so cool and funny, and confident. i'm always thinking, me? no. i'm not cool, i want to tell them, i'm really just telling you what you want to hear. funny. no. its just what i want you to know about me. i did this to myself. i make people laugh because it gets rid of my pain. i don't know why i am this way, but i just am.when it comes to people who are my "friends" i hate to see them cry, i hate to see them hurt. its my responsibility to help them. thats just the way i am. i wish i was the same person on the inside that i am on the outside. problems, problems, problems thats all i deal with all day. i want to tell people who i really am but will i be accepted? will they still see me the same way? would they try to help me? would they care for me as much as i care for them? why do i care so much? walking in the hall i feel alone. alone even with the halls packed with those i love and care for i am alone.
Hollow
emotionless
am i really a good person? wandering the hallways i think and the world around me seems like a dream
I'M TIRED OF LAUGHING WHEN NOTHING IS FUNNY!
I'M TIRED OF MAKING JOKES THAT ONLY NUMB THE PAIN!
I'M TIRED OF OF BEING THE PERSON THAT ALWAYS WIPES EVERYONES TEARS, BUT NOBODY IS THERE TO WIPE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm alone everywhere it seems like. at school i'm alone i'm an only. but i want to be happy and i want to feel as if i am loved and accepted by someone. i want to be in someones arms that knows who i am.
i want to be warm
i want to be wanted
i want
i want, but i know i will never have because if i get too close i do something to mess it all up becasuse if something happens i dont want to hurt them so,
i run from the arms i desire,
i hide from what hurts me,
i run from what i do not understand.
a shoulder to lean on. and a smile to ease my stress
thats happiness to me.
and with this i hide my heart in my back pocket
away from everyone
away from light, so,
i am a hollow body who walks the halls
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